Monthly Archives: July 2011

Overcoming the Guilt Barrier as You Regain Confidence

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Guilt can be a valuable emotion in some respects.

It helps us make things right with others we have wronged.

However, there is also the borderline “obsessive” type of guilt- which I think we tend to experience when we “replay” the past- and feel a great sense of remorse or regret.

I have experienced this type of guilt first-hand.

Getting “wrapped up” and focused on the past, I would lose sight of my opportunity to make a difference in my present moment.

With today’s post, I’d like to give you three valuable tips for overcoming the guilt barrier.

I hope that these ideas help you make greater progress with your life and your goals.

Re-frame the past from a “dominating factor” to a “valuable object lesson”

I like reading books and quotes I have from Jim Rohn.

One of his books called “7 Strategies for Wealth and Happiness” is very practical and well-written.

If you get a chance to read it, I highly recommend it.

In this valuable book, Rohn gives us a really good example of wisdom.

He mentions that the Old Testament in the Bible gives us examples and warnings.

The good things people did provide us with examples.

Their follies and errors in judgement are noted for us as warnings- things we shouldn’t do – that negatively impact our lives.

In the same way, I think we can use our past as a teaching tool- or as a valuable object lesson.

Sometimes, we go through difficult times as a result of our poor decisions.

Many times, the biggest mistake we can make is letting the past become a “dominating factor”.

It tends to dominate our present behavior when we say “I can’t change things”, “This is the way I’ve always been” or “That’s just me”.

I’ve found it to be valuable to view the past differently.

You’ll make greater progress in life if you view your past as a source of learning and become more forgiving and compassionate with yourself.

As I wrote this blog post, the following sentence was very helpful to me:

“My past teaches me valuable lessons about commitment, determination and courage, along with the reward of pursuing my goals and dreams in life.”

Be encouraged today to use your past as a springboard for greater wisdom, learning and strength.

Recognize that Regret from the Past saps Energy from your Present Opportunity

On a daily basis, we usually have a collection of emotions which can change moment by moment.

I’m sure you’ll relate to the following experience.

Your mind “wanders back” to past events- things you regret doing, things you wish you had done, or struggles you’ve had with other people.

After you’ve done a little “journey” back to a difficult past event, it drastically affects you in your present moment.  Your mind becomes focused on thoughts, ideas and opinions about the past.

Consider how many times you had these types of thoughts:

“I wish I hadn’t done that.”

“I wish I had been more motivated and focused yesterday.”

“Who is he to say that about me?”

Before you know it, your time, energy and emotions become focused on a past even that you cannot change.

You’ve lost another present moment.  You could have made greater progress in achieving your goal.

I have lived in the “land of regret” and am now seeing it as what it is- an emotional pitfall to be avoided.

I’m now regaining greater purpose and joy in my life.  Regret is still an emotion I struggle with, but I’m making progress with the idea of living in the moment.

In the same way, I’m hoping that you’re now encouraged to recognize the next minute as a gift and as an opportunity to make the most of your life.

After all, we have no guarantees that we’ll be here even 5 minutes from now.

In light of that fact, why not fill your present moment (and the next 5 minutes) with joy, purpose, energy, determination and inspiration.

You likely have goals, dreams and plans for your life.

Why not focus on “going for it”?

You Can Overcome Past Guilt as You Rebuild For a Better Future

I like sports analogies, since I’m a hockey fan.

When professional teams are truly making progress, they keep active during their off-season.

For instance, they sometimes enter what’s called a “rebuilding mode” when their teams get older- or when their core players move on to other teams.

They rebuild their team for the future as they draft young players who have great promise and potential.

In hockey, they’ll often top ranked talent as they make trades with other teams.

They build a solid foundation for their future success.

In the same way, we can rebuild toward a better and brighter future, as we incorporate the habits of:

  • developing a purpose & reviewing it daily to stay on track for our goals
  • using affirmations to instill courage, confidence and strength in our lives
  • gaining spiritual strength (with whatever spiritual beliefs we have) through prayer and meditation
  • applying exceptional ideas we learn about in personal development (which can help us be more productive and inspired)
  • developing our personal and professional skills – so that we may more fully enjoy our work.
  • viewing our lives as an adventure or “work in progress”- as we pursue our goals and dreams.

I hope today’s post has helped you overcome regret and develop confidence that you can do so. 

Your goals, dreams and contribution to life and to the lives of others are truly worth it.

In my next post, I’ll talk about the great benefits of being open to new learning, and how it can lead to greater confidence.

Until then, have a great day.

courage1 c Overcoming the Guilt Barrier as You Regain Confidence

 

 

 

The Incredible Benefits of “Self-Acceptance” and Progress

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“Self-acceptance” is a term that has many definitions.

No matter how it’s defined, it’s a beneficial habit to develop.

In my past, I didn’t practice any form of “self-acceptance”.

I have been quite the opposite- “hard driving”or what you could term as almost a “type A personality”.

However, as I’ve learned to be more accepting of myself- coming to terms with my own strengths and weaknesses, I’ve gained a more complete “picture” of who I am.

As I’ve incorporated a few good affirmations into my daily routine, it’s been quite helpful as well.

I’m not overly “fanatical” about affirmations.  However, I’ve incorporated new thoughts and ideas about my level of confidence and time management.

Any little bit of help with these areas has gone a long way for me.

My hope is that you’ll recognize a few ways that you can increase your own “level of self-acceptance”.  That way, you’ll experience a greater quality of life.

Practicing Self-Acceptance will Help You Break the Habit of “Labeling” Yourself

Whenever a negative event happens, or when things don’t work out as planned, we have two choices:

We can end up labeling ourselves negatively.

For instance, we end up calling ourselves “stupid”, “clumsy”, “lazy” or “forgetful”.

These labels don’t do anything for us.  They actually reinforce behaviors or characteristics that we don’t want.

These initial thoughts or reactions to negative events can be very discouraging.

If I could tell you one thing from personal experience, it would be this:

When you decide and choose to separate the events of your life with your worth and value as a person, you’ll be well on your way to creating a better or “higher quality of life” for yourself.

Self-Acceptance Builds Our Levels of Self-Approval and Assertiveness

If you’re not accepting of yourself, your level of confidence will be low.

Once you become more “accepting” of yourself, you can begin to approve of yourself in meaningful ways:

  • you can begin to gain a greater awareness of your progress.
  • you’ll be able to “re-affirm” your own value, worth and significance as you’ve become more accepting of yourself.
  • you’ll be more likely to celebrate the good steps you’ve taken to make meaningful changes in your life.
  • you can gain a greater awareness that your life has great purpose.
  • With a sense of self-acceptance and awareness of your significance, you’ll realize how valuable your ideas and input are (at home and at work)..and you can become more assertive.

Self-Acceptance Helps You Recognize Your Strengths and Address Your Weaknesses

This third benefit of self-acceptance is exceptional.

When we recognize our strengths in life, we gain a greater sense of enjoyment, purpose and satisfaction in our daily activities.

This has been my own personal experience.

When I had no idea where I was going with my home-based business, I was fortunate to gain more self-knowledge in some very crucial areas.

I discovered the topics I’ve been passionate about.

I learned more about the skills I actually enjoyed using.

Goals that I wanted to achieve “came to light” with my written exercises.

I became aware of my personal strengths.  This was really insightful for me- as I had skills to build upon.

Gaining knowledge about my weaknesses, I’m able to construct a plan and get input about things I need to work on.

I don’t think I would have been able to do these exercises effectively without a sense of self-acceptance.

For me, it became “reality-based” work.

Once you decide to really discover the strengths and the skills you enjoy using, you’ll “ignite” your passion for your work, educational courses or volunteer activities.

Likewise, you’ll also uncover areas of weakness that you can work on.

As you develop a sense of “self-acceptance” in your life, you’ll be able to address your strengths and weaknesses effectively.

The bottom line is living the life to its fullest.

That is my hope and wish for you today.

In my next post, I’ll discuss three ideas I’m using to overcome the “guilt barrier” in life.  I’ve find it valuable for gaining confidence in my own life.

Until then, have a great day.

image courage 111 The Incredible Benefits of Self Acceptance and Progress

Four “Hidden” Expectations That Held Me Back in LIfe- Part 2

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In today’s post, I’d like to share the final 2 “hidden” expectations that have hindered my progress.

My hope is that these two ideas will make a profound impact in your life.

Faulty Expectation #3- Competence Before Commitment

This is one faulty or erroneous expectation I’ve had in the past.

Here’s what I mean by “competence before commitment”:

With this type of expectation, I held this type of belief:

“I expect myself to be good at something before I’ll ever commit to it.”

In many ways, this type of belief can really hold us back in life.

It’s the type of expectation I think many people have.

You’ll see many people in life that won’t step out and learn new things, stumble or fall in their attempts to reach their goals.  Many of them remain in their “comfort zones”, settling for the status quo in life.

They avoid the pain of mistakes or failures along the way, but they also rob themselves of the joy of overcoming obstacles and achieving greater confidence and success.

Consider the value of committing yourself to your goals.

You may experience setbacks along the way.  It’s not always “smooth sailing”.  You’ll likely make a few mistakes.

However, you’ll learn valuable lessons.  You’ll experience greater learning.

You’ll also develop qualities such as strength to persevere through any obstacles, along with courage, wisdom and insight.

I like a quote I read from Theodore Roosevelt, who is considered one of the top U.S. presidents:

It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; because there is not effort without error and shortcomings; but who does actually strive to do the deed; who knows the great enthusiasm, the great devotion, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement and who at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly. So that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.

Faulty Expectation #4- Success Before Confidence

This is a “hidden” expectation I’ve had in the past.

It’s a bit deceiving because it’s partly true.

When we experience success in one area, we do have the confidence to achieve a new goal we’ve set for ourselves.

However, I think “success before confidence” can be an erroneous belief or expectation, when we tell ourselves:

“I’ll have all the confidence in the world after I become a big success.”

For me, it’s like putting the cart before the horse.

It’s vital to have positive expectations for success.

The power of belief allows us to accomplish greater things, make greater progress and achieve our goals and dreams in life.

I once attended a personal development seminar, where I learned firsthand about the power of belief.  I ended up doing a board-breaking exercise with a karate-type of “chop” with my right hand.  I drew a picture of my limiting belief on the board before attempting the board-breaking exercise.  My limiting belief was of a box, or a comfort zone I restricted myself to.  With the power of belief, I broke that board.  I still have that board to remind me of the power of my beliefs.  It’s near my desk – still broken, with both sides of the board and my picture of my limiting belief.

Your limiting beliefs can be broken and overcome, and you can live a fuller and richer life that you’ve always dreamed of.  That is the life you were meant to live.

When I first tried out the board-breaking exercise, I told myself “There’s no way I can do this”.

On my second attempt, I broke the board, but only after I developed the firm belief that I could – and after visualizing my success.

I hope is that you’ll use this analogy to develop a firm expectation or confidence in your future success.

All the best to you as you achieve your goals.

In my next post, I’ll write about the value of self forgiveness for building confidence.

Until then, have a great day.

confident and secure Four Hidden Expectations That Held Me Back in LIfe  Part 2

Four “Hidden” Expectations That Held Me Back In Life- Part 1

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An attitude of positive expectation is the mark of the superior personality.

I like this quote from Brian Tracy- and thought I’d share it with you today.

It’s from his book called “The Great Little Book on Personal Achievement”.  It’s a collection of Tracy’s quotes and has been very helpful to me.

Our expectations play such a powerful role in our lives.

The root word for “expectations” is the verb “expect” – which Webster’s dictionary defines as “to look for as likely to occur or appear”.

As I wrote about this topic in the last few days, I had a few ideas.  I didn’t realize how powerful my own expectations were in how I approached life, my goals and the things I would attempt or achieve.

Faulty Expectation #1- Motivation Before Action

This is one expectation that is evident from time to time in the lives of many.

This has been one of my faulty expectations.

I would say to myself “I’ll get around to this project or necessary action whenever I felt motivated to do so.”

Waiting until we’re motivated before doing a necessary task leads directly to procrastination.

Sometimes motivation before action has its place.  It’s good to be inspired by goals or dreams that we have in life- and then create a plan of action.

At that point, it’s great to take the concrete steps to work on our plans.

However, if we do that with tasks or goals we find unpleasant or rather intimidating, we’ll still wait around for the motivation to get started.   We often end up with lower self-confidence as we tell ourselves “why can’t I ever get started on this task?”

I’d like to encourage you to take action on a necessary task – no matter how unpleasant or intimidating it might be.  You’ll gain greater confidence, strength and courage as you do things that are outside your comfort zone.

Faulty Expectation #2- Persuasion Before Belief

There have been times where I’ve been “hard-headed” or you could term as “stubborn” or “willful” about new ideas- or new ways of doing things.

It’s like the old saying “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks”.

That’s an interesting idea I would suppose.  I’m not sure where that statement came from.  Maybe it was from someone’s experience with just one old dog.

When I looked it up in the dictionary, persuasion seems to have a similar meaning to words such as “urging”, “reasoning” or “convincing”.

There has been numerous times in my own life where I needed to be urged or convinced that something was true before I believed it.

I’ve needed to be convinced of the power of goal-setting before I’d even try it out.

I would ask “does goal-setting really work?” I can tell you from personal experience that it does.

These days, I’m developing my daily expectations and the power of belief.

I’m believing that my own life will improve, that I’ll be more productive and positive- and will achieve the goals I’ve set.

In the past, you would have to persuade or convince me in the power of having goals, dreams, plans, and a vision for my life.  I often had to reason or analyze everything before I would exercise faith or belief.

It’s too hard to become more productive, positive or hopeful if you need to be persuaded to do so.

I’d like to encourage you to exercise your own power of faith or belief- and to not have to persuade yourself that your life holds great potential.

Remember, you can’t argue or convince yourself that you have a brighter future ahead of you.

In the upcoming days, I’m going to keep in mind that:

  • Action truly comes before motivation, and
  • The power of Belief and Faith comes before Persuasion

With these first two perspectives, you’ll be well on your way to boost confidence in your own life.  You’ll also discover greater power as you take action in life, and exercise faith and belief each day.

In my next post, I’ll write about two more “faulty expectations” I had.

Until then, have a great day.

dreams Four Hidden Expectations That Held Me Back In Life  Part 1

 

 

 

 

 

Using Our Words to Develop a Better Quality of Life

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Welcome to the conclusion of my last post.

I could have titled it “The Value of the Words We Use in Building Confidence- Part 2 of 2″.

However, I want to make this blog as compelling to read as possible.

If you think about it for a moment, the words you use on a daily basis have a profound impact on your life- and on the lives of others around you.

Today I’d like to write about how our speech tends to play a key role in reinforcing (either good or bad things in our lives) and in developing our daily habits.

I’ve learned these things the hard way.

With today’s post, my hope is that you’ll incorporate these final two benefits – and make wise “choices” in our own life.

That way, you’ll experience outstanding results, a higher level of confidence, and a better quality of life.

Our Words Tend to Reinforce Health or Illness

I’m sure that you’ll relate well with the Monday to Friday schedule.

On Monday morning, it’s easy to wake up and talk about how tired I feel- especially if I’ve woken up a couple of times during the night.

Once I’d catch a cold, the easiest thing to do would be for me to tell myself how poorly I feel- and to speak about my illness with others.

It’s rather odd.  Maybe it’s unique to North American culture- I’m not sure.  Our most natural tendency is to talk about bad health, rather than talk about times that we’re feeling well and are healthy.

Maybe it’s because there’s more to talk about when things aren’t going right.

When it comes to my health, I’ve tended to feel rather sorry for myself when I’m “under the weather”.

I’ve had to take responsibility for my overall well-being.

I’d encourage you to do the same.

When you start feeling “under the weather”, there’s no point in complaining about it.

It’s far more valuable to look for solutions and take better care of yourself.

Sometimes certain types of illness are out of our control.  In this scenario, there still is a type of “power” in remaining optimistic and in anticipating time for recuperation and for healing.

Our attitudes, level of gratitude and confidence levels for our lives are well worth maintaining.

Our Words Develop Habits of Optimism or Pessimism

When we encounter the “naysayers” in life (those who say “You can’t” or “You’re unable to accomplish your goals”), we need to be careful of the words we use in response these people.

For instance, we tend to have two choices when we encounter negative people.

Sometimes, we take their advice and tell ourselves – “Yeah, I guess he’s right.  Who am I to achieve this goal?  There’s no point”.

We start to not only experience thoughts of self-doubt, but we also tend to reinforce doubt, despair and overall pessimism by expressing these feelings to others.

The negative emotions of fear, worry, anxiety, uncertainty, despair tend to build with their corresponding “trails of thought”.

Have you ever told yourself (or others)- “I can’t do this” or “this won’t work”?  Then you proceed to tell yourself and others valid reasons- which we could term as excuses, why you haven’t accomplished your goal.

It truly is the case that our overall outlook on life- whether it is either pessimistic or optimistic – is really “fuelled” by the words we use.

Fortunately, I’ve had outstanding and positive influences of others in my life- such as teachers, mentors and friends.

However, we’ll still encounter those who try to “tear us down” as we go through life.

We need to “arm ourselves” against the naysayers and negative thinkers we encounter.

How do we do that?  Here are a few suggestions:

  • Remember to do a short daily gratitude list- your overall mood will improve each day that you create one.
  • Refer to your inspiring list of goals.
  • Imagine the joy you’ll feel when you achieve them.
  • Create an Accomplishments List- and review it briefly each day- we all need belief and courage for our dreams in life.

You’ll now have evidence for telling yourself that you can and will achieve your goals and dreams in life.

I’m here to tell you with this blog- that your life, your dreams and your goals are well worth it.  Hold onto that fact – and make it a great day.

DSC02199 1 Using Our Words to Develop a Better Quality of Life